1. As a guest you have limited access to the forums.
  2. Membership is free.
  3. So why not Sign up now!
Guest1 Guest2 Guest3

A Joke For Today

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jamie jackson, Jan 17, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 81 of 136
  1. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    Good joke. I forgot this one. Don't get old, senility sucks. What was I taking about?
     
    Brutus58, Dec 3, 2018
    #1601
    curiousFred likes this.
  2. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    Since I'm a male straight nurse I find offensive on different levels. Is it funny, YES! I do see the humor. Why not make the doctor instead of the nurse giving the blow job? I believe it would be funnier.
     
    Brutus58, Dec 3, 2018
    #1602
    curiousFred likes this.
  3. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    I wanted to have sex with my mother-in-law until I realized she was bat shit crazy as well as my sister-in-law.
     
    Brutus58, Dec 3, 2018
    #1603
    Insp Gadget, oldman681 and curiousFred like this.
  4. curiousFred

    curiousFred Trusted.Member

    Hilarious, thank you so much.
     
    curiousFred, Dec 3, 2018
    #1604
  5. curiousFred

    curiousFred Trusted.Member

    A 90 year old man rolls up at the sperm bank and insists on making a donation.
    So the nurse hands him a small bottle and some porn mags, send him to a private room.
    He doesn't return for ages, so finally the nurse checks on him to see what is the matter .
    I can't get the cap off the bottle the old timer replied.
     
    curiousFred, Dec 3, 2018
    #1605
    Hal, Brutus58, Insp Gadget and 2 others like this.
  6. Neophyte

    Neophyte Administrator Staff Member

    Doctors make the diagnosis and the nurses administers the cure. :p
     
    Neophyte, Dec 3, 2018
    #1606
    curiousFred and Insp Gadget like this.
  7. Neophyte

    Neophyte Administrator Staff Member

    This is such a good opening for a joke but I won't say it. :rolleyes:
     
    Neophyte, Dec 3, 2018
    #1607
    curiousFred, Brutus58 and Insp Gadget like this.
  8. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    Not always. Shouldn't doctors practice what they prescribe?
     
    Brutus58, Dec 4, 2018
    #1608
    curiousFred, pussycat, Hal and 1 other person like this.
  9. slisse

    slisse Moderator Staff Member

    My seventy-six-year-old father, while still a good driver, has more trouble judging distances than he used to.

    This sometimes results in driving by sound: He hits something, and then realizes it was there.

    The cost of repairing rear bumpers was getting expensive, so a perfect gift seemed to be a reverse-sensor kit that gave an audible and visual signal when the car was getting too close to something.

    We had it installed, and watched excitedly as Dad backed out of the garage.

    The audible signal went off... and he reached for his cell phone.

    "Hello?"
    .
     
    slisse, Dec 21, 2018
    #1609
    Insp Gadget, Brutus58, curiousFred and 2 others like this.
  10. Hal

    Hal TrustlTrusted Member

    Or subject to their own treatments. Just got scheduled for a colonoscopy. Damn.
     
    Hal, Dec 21, 2018
    #1610
    Brutus58 and curiousFred like this.
  11. pussycat

    pussycat Administrator Staff Member

    My husband would dearly love to fuck his mother-in-law.

    (yes, we're honest with eachother :rolleyes:)
     
    pussycat, Dec 21, 2018
    #1611
    Brutus58 and curiousFred like this.
  12. pussycat

    pussycat Administrator Staff Member

    Yep

    It's actually the nurse who shoves the scope up your ass.

    :cool:
     
    pussycat, Dec 21, 2018
    #1612
    Brutus58 and Neophyte like this.
  13. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    Glad that my nursing job mostly involved the other end (nurse anesthetist).
     
    Brutus58, Dec 26, 2018
    #1613
    curiousFred and Insp Gadget like this.
  14. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    Sports Car.jpg - A senior citizen drove his brand new sports car out of the dealership.

    Taking off down the road, he quickly floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

    " Amazing ! " he thought as he flew down the highway, pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

    Then, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the Highway Patrol behind him - blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

    At that point he thought, " What on earth am I doing ? I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up.

    Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the car, looked at his watch and said, " Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go. "

    The man, looking nervously at the Trooper, said ... " Well, years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. And I was afraid you were bringing her back. "
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jan 5, 2019
    #1614
    Neophyte, Brutus58, curiousFred and 3 others like this.
  15. slisse

    slisse Moderator Staff Member

    Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture.

    "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked.

    "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move if he is not on it."
    .
     
    slisse, Jan 6, 2019
    #1615
    Brutus58, curiousFred, Insp Gadget and 1 other person like this.
  16. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    I'm going to have to remember this one for the next time I get stopped for speeding!
     
    Brutus58, Jan 7, 2019
    #1616
    curiousFred likes this.
  17. dnu002

    dnu002 Trusted Member

    lol. A lot of good jokes here
     
    dnu002, Jan 7, 2019
    #1617
  18. slisse

    slisse Moderator Staff Member

    A guy walks into a bar with a small dog.

    The bartender demands, "Get out of here with that dog!"

    The guy answers, "But this is not just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"

    The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on the house!"

    The guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing, Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

    Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck and drags him out.

    The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

    The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wants him to be a doctor."
    .
     
    slisse, Jan 18, 2019
    #1618
    curiousFred, Neophyte, Insp Gadget and 2 others like this.
  19. BisonSteve

    BisonSteve Trusted.Member

    I have a 12 inch cock,

    which would be a lot more impressive if it wasn't rubber and neon pink
     
    BisonSteve, Jan 27, 2019
    #1619
    curiousFred, Neophyte, Brutus58 and 3 others like this.
  20. slisse

    slisse Moderator Staff Member

    Priest said... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.'

    She said...'Who's gonna bother looking?'
     
    slisse, Jan 27, 2019
    #1620
    curiousFred, Neophyte, Brutus58 and 2 others like this.
Page 81 of 136
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.