A Joke For Today

I walked into the music store to buy a CD of Rachmaninoffs Second Piano Concerto.

I found the hiphop, R&B, country and jazz sections, but no area where I might look for Rachmaninoff.

"Excuse me," I inquired of a young store clerk, "Do you have a classical section?"

After a brief hesitation, she asked, "You mean...like Elvis?"
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Which one?

 

The man had taken his date, a young blonde woman, to see a famous pianist.

Halfway through, she tapped on his shoulder.

"What is he playing?" she asked.

"Chopins Polonaise in A-flat," he responded.

"Oh," she sighed, "I could have sworn it was a piano."
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The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.

After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand.

“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.

“We were not looking for the same thing,” she replied.

“You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $350.”

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Before she died, an old lady wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors.

She went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport.

"You must take the loyalty oath first," the passport clerk replied.

"Raise your right hand, please."

The senior citizen raised her right hand as the clerk requested, and he asked, "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, domestic or foreign?"

The sweet old lady paled; the voice trembled as she responded, "Well, I guess so, but ... will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?"

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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I am a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I am sorry. I did not realize that," said the manager.

"Here, give me the broom – I will show you how."

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They have two cousins in Ireland - Gerald FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzGerald