A Joke For Today

sometime shorter is better,i mean sometimes,but my mate do not think so!

 

!!!!!!!

 

"?"Oops!​

 

here's a real bad joke, What has 14 balls and lives in the woods? answer: Snow white and the 7 dwarfs!

 

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small
tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is
that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?' The birch says he cannot
tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if
that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the
best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.

 

A man was driving down a deserted country road when he had a blowout.
Not having a spare (or mobile phone) he finally finds a house and asks the lady if he can use her phone to call for a tow truck.
As she opens the door for him to come in, a three-legged pig runs out.
He asks why the pig only has 3 legs.
She says they has a fire and the pig woke everyone up and the went back and brought the dog out.
He said " but why does the pig have only 3 legs?"
She said "another time my son was playing on the ice and it broke and he fell in and the pig ran to the barn and got a rope and saved him."
Again he asks "but why does the pig have only 3 legs?"
She says " after all the pig did for us, it didn't seem right to eat him all at once."

 

Ba dum bum

 

I kinda liked this Cabinet myself -

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t

those are chests-no cabinets.

 

yours made me laugh though. thanks

 

i got it finally good one

 

very good.

 

sounds kihe a smart ass to me!

 

Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

 

I recently found and subsequently purchased "Black Adder - Remastered" I'll never understand why people like "BEAN" over "BLACK ADDER!" Rowan Atkinson really hit his stride in the latter!

 

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First, take an infinite number of hillbillies, and put them one each in an infinite number of pickup trucks.​

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Next, give each of them a shotgun and an infinite number of rounds, and tell them to go out and shoot at any highway sign that they see.​

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And eventually, they will produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.​

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Insp Gadget, Glad to see you back around, we've missed your spot-on input! Here a spot, there a spot, everywhere a spot-spot!

 

Democrats would never be able

 

Don't you mean "Basket of Deplorables?"