Likes and replies

Amongst the members there are a lot of lurkers.
There really is nothing wrong with being a lurker, most of us started with being a lurker.
It even gives you the opportunity to look around and to see what is posted and how it's posted.

There are also the people who reply to threads and by doing so participate to discussions or who thank posters by hitting the like-button or making a reply [thanking or giving (positive) reactions].

Then there are the starters of threads who take their time to look around on the internet to find material to post here for the benefit of us all. And yes, each forum needs them because a forum without posters is doomed to disappear.
(It's very unpleasant for staff to receive mails from these posters mentioning "why would we bother to keep on posting if we receive little reactions, like over 500 views and only 1 like and 1 reply?")

So people, please, help to give them fuel to go on posting here!

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you.

 

I understand people who start threads and want a follow up of that thread by members, as well as broad participation. From my own experience in Ins Dream I have found that sometimes the topics that are proposed as new, are already repeated on the same topic in other threads and if you have already participated in a previous thread and responded, participating in more forums on the same issue would be repeating the same response. On other occasions what happens is that there is self-censorship, because you know that the answer you will write is not what an OP wants to read in his thread and you are also afraid that your answer will condition the participation of other people in that thread and you wonder if you can participate when your participation is not what anyone wants to read. An example would be a thread with the title "how do you celebrate mother's or father's day?". The answer everyone expects to read is we have sex, but my answer would be my sister and I go to the cemetery and remember funny anecdotes and feel the absence of her death. For that reason, and I am still speaking from my experience in Ins Dreams, I do not participate in many threads that can be interesting, because the answer is not what the OP wants to read, it is a censorship that I impose on myself, so as not to destroy the thread of any OP.

 

Thank you.

 

Good to know:

 

Participation is the whole point for me if when I greet a newcomer its to make them feel at ease but no response is fine

 

Participation is very important, but not only from members, but also from OPs, because sometimes OPs themselves start a thread and then forget about it. Just as an OP likes members to participate in his thread, members who have taken the time to write a reply or search for an image also like their work to be acknowledged. If the OP does not participate in the thread, two things can happen:

1.- You stop participating in that thread because you think what you are posting is not what you want the OP to post, the reply or images are not what the OP wanted when he started this thread.

2.- You continue to participate, but not because of the OP, but because other members with whom you have a special relationship are the ones who encourage you to keep posting with their likes.

There are many negative examples that I won't say here, but there are also many positive ones, such as Whitecoffee1, "Just animals" or Rubber duck 2, "Whats for Dinner tonight???" who encourage their threads as OPs by supporting members' participation in their threads. The likes you receive when you participate are not important because they are counted in each member's personal counter, but they are recognition of the time a member has spent writing a reply or looking for an image and that encourages you to continue participating in this thread.

 

This is an excellent thread! Thankyou so much slisse for starting this!

I think it's important for people to know that hitting the 'like' button gives the OP a surge of "Wow, somebody's read what I've posted and not only that, they LIKED it!"

I know when I first joined, I was not sure whether I would be received due to my 'slightly different' themed story. However, I was soon encouraged to continue with my story when I saw that people were indeed reading and commenting on it and in some cases, relating to it! It let me know without doubt that other people shared my views/experiences but above all, it gave me the confidence to continue and to start contributing to other threads.

I've chosen to pin this because I want other members - especially new members - to see this and know how important 'liking and/or replying is'. I've seen a few threads removed by the OP simply because they were disappointed that no-one took the time to acknowledge their input.

So yes, everyone. Show how much you value, not only this site, but also the members who contribute to it.

 

Athenea, when someone posts a thread on any topic, they are opening it up for comment. Therefore, they should expect to hear from anyone about anything. When someone is asking a question, I feel they want as many diverse answers as possible. I know I do. It's what makes the wheel go round so to speak. And a reply that may be a little 'out of the box' or maybe even 'off-topic' will often receive other replies that can lead to very very interesting conversations.

I think you're being unfair to yourself to say that no-one is interested in what your reply may be. Example: your reply about Mother's/Father's Day is unique and personal to you and your sister so I now know a little bit more about you. And I think your answer of going to the cemetery and remembering funny times is a beautiful response and in no way out of order to the original question.

In short, I think you are doing yourself - and more importantly, US - by not replying to threads with your unique responses. And if you're worried about getting a response that is not - friendly, negative or in any way unkind - that is what we moderators are here for. To ensure that EVERYONE is respected and given a fair go to be themselves!

You go ahead and post all you want. I, for one, will enjoy reading your contributions!

hugs

 

No, I have not received unpleasant responses worthy of being reported to a moderator, either generally or privately, for participation in a particular thread. My only intention was not to spoil or upset an OP who started a thread on a topic of his personal interest. Anyway, I very much appreciate your response and that response encourages me in participation. On occasion I have thought of a response to a particular thread and discussed it with my sister or she with me, but we decided it was not appropriate. From now on, we will have more freedom not to continue with this self-censorship. Thank you very much for that response which makes Ins Dream a much nicer and friendlier place. Kisses, from my sister and me.

 

Hello! Hope you enjoy looking around.

 

I look forward to reading your responses! Btw, imagination can surprise you...

 

There are many reasons to be here most of which are to try to understand why the feelings they have are frowned upon
and how to cope with them
Others are frustrated writers, or voyeurs looking for the excitement of knowing that masturbating to the thought of family members is not the dreadful fantasy they have been told and they are not the sole pervert in the world
All are valid reasons and as long as the rules are not broken are welcome