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A Joke For Today

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jamie jackson, Jan 17, 2015.

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  1. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    Same here and that was just to visit my dad when he was in a few years ago. The thought of working in one is even scarier!!!
     
    Brutus58, Jul 1, 2020
    #2021
    Insp Gadget and curiousFred like this.
  2. Brutus58

    Brutus58 Trusted.Member

    I'll have to remember that one!
     
    Brutus58, Jul 1, 2020
    #2022
    londonboy49 and curiousFred like this.
  3. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    [​IMG]
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 2, 2020
    #2023
    philbrown, slisse, Brutus58 and 6 others like this.
  4. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    [​IMG] ​
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 4, 2020
    #2024
    Brutus58, curiousFred and oldman681 like this.
  5. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    [​IMG] ​
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 5, 2020
    #2025
    leftout4, slisse, Brutus58 and 3 others like this.
  6. Betullabond

    Betullabond Trusted.Member

    Michael Obama shouldn't spread his legs like that - it's a dead giveaway! (He must be in quite a bit of pain tied down that way, too.):rolleyes:

    Notice how soyboy Trudeau has his legs crossed? Talk about gender "fluidity".:p

    2395c6c463574e09ac0f43d43ea194cb_1024.png
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2020
    Betullabond, Jul 5, 2020
    #2026
    Brutus58, curiousFred, oldman681 and 1 other person like this.
  7. Betullabond

    Betullabond Trusted.Member

    The joke I tell when I'm not telling a joke!
     
    Betullabond, Jul 5, 2020
    #2027
    Insp Gadget likes this.
  8. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    You can't fool Mother Nature ! [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 5, 2020
    #2028
  9. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    • Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    • The things that come to those who wait are actually the things that were left by those who got there first.

    • If you're on a cruise, you're with newlyweds, over-feds and nearly deads.
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 5, 2020
    #2029
    Brutus58, Dane and oldman681 like this.
  10. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    Doctor: " I have good news and bad news for you. "

    Patient: " Let's start with the good news. "

    Doctor: " You have 24 hours to live. "

    Patient: " Then what's the bad news ? "

    Doctor: " I should have called you yesterday. "
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 5, 2020
    #2030
    slisse, Brutus58, londonboy49 and 1 other person like this.
  11. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    [​IMG]
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 5, 2020
    #2031
    Brutus58 and oldman681 like this.
  12. curiousFred

    curiousFred Trusted.Member

    Donald Trump just fell out of a tenth floor window of the Trump tower, luckily he fell on his head,
    so there was not any damage at all.
     
    curiousFred, Jul 6, 2020
    #2032
    Insp Gadget likes this.
  13. Betullabond

    Betullabond Trusted.Member

    Well "sleepy" Joe Biden is perfectly safe, then. He hasn't got the hand-eye coordination to press the elevator button to get to the tenth floor.
     
    Betullabond, Jul 6, 2020
    #2033
    curiousFred likes this.
  14. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    [​IMG]
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 8, 2020
    #2034
    curiousFred, Brutus58 and oldman681 like this.
  15. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    [​IMG]
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 8, 2020
    #2035
    philbrown, slisse, curiousFred and 2 others like this.
  16. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    This is the kind of stuff that Canadians fret about ...

    [​IMG]
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 8, 2020
    #2036
    curiousFred, Brutus58 and oldman681 like this.
  17. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    [​IMG]
    ​
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 9, 2020
    #2037
    slisse, oldman681, curiousFred and 1 other person like this.
  18. slisse

    slisse Moderator Staff Member

    Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into my office.

    "Great news, Scott!" she announced. "We’re getting our regular room at the hotel!"

    All eyes were on Gail and me as she suddenly realized she had interrupted a meeting with co-workers.
     
    slisse, Jul 9, 2020
    #2038
    philbrown, Brutus58, oldman681 and 3 others like this.
  19. Dane

    Dane Account Deleted

    DO you want to know why Republicans oppose Stem Cell Research?


    It's because they're afraid the Democrats will use it to start growing spines!
     
    Dane, Jul 9, 2020
    #2039
    Brutus58, oldman681 and Insp Gadget like this.
  20. Insp Gadget

    Insp Gadget Trusted.Member

    ​
    [​IMG]
     
    Insp Gadget, Jul 10, 2020
    #2040
    curiousFred, philbrown, slisse and 4 others like this.
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