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My cousin and I...

 
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PookaHarvey



Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 123
PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:10 am    Post subject: My cousin and I...
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We don't mean to sound a bit ungrateful, but my cousin and I would really like to hear some more feedback on our story. We appreciate those who took the time to read it, but, we're kinda interested in what some of the other members have to say. We're hard at work on chapter 4, but we personally feel some more feedback might give us some extra incentive.
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PookaHarvey



Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 123
PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 2:56 am    Post subject:
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Okay, we just posted Chapter 4! We'll work on Chapter 5 as soon as we can! We would still like a little feedback, though!
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Xx8ball1
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Joined: 20 Apr 2006
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Location: usa
PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 2:58 am    Post subject:
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on my way there to read it now Very Happy
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DocSavage7
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Joined: 21 May 2007
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Location: Great South Land
PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:01 pm    Post subject:
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I haven't read your latest addition Harvey... But so far, I'm really enjoying it. Thx 2 you both! Very Happy

Doc
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English language ONLY, Thankyou..

Last edited by DocSavage7 on Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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PookaHarvey



Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Posts: 123
PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 1:09 am    Post subject:
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Thanks, Doc! We really appreciate your kind words. Feel free to read chapter 4 when you can. Chris and I are hard at work on chapter 5 at the moment.
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samurai2008



Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 136
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:48 am    Post subject:
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well i was not going to say anything, but then you made this topic so srew the Itrees i will write what i think.

PookaHarvey wrote:
Chapter 1

To begin, my cousin’s name is Christine, but I always call her “Chris” for short. I’m the only one who can get away with doing so. If anyone else did, she would get very upset with them.


its the start... there is somthing wrong with the start to your story.
wait its not wrong, its more like, out of place.

to be honest i did not even read past that sentance.
i did not need to.

PM me if you want to know whats wrong with this line Mr Harvey and i will tell you.

(to the rest ignore this message... you do it with all my other posts lol)

Smile
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